Payment

A woodman was carrying a sack full of chopped wood on his back. His sack was heavy and filled beyond its limit. The man, bent under his bulky burden, was struggling not to drop any of the wood pieces as he walked. However, the poor man couldn't avoid tripping over a stone on the road and half of his load fell out of their precarious pile. Another man happened to be passing by and saw the mishap.

`If I load those fallen pieces of wood back into your back sack, what would you give me?' he asked.

`Nothing.' said the man carrying the wood.

`That's acceptable.' agreed the other man. He collected all the chopped wood scattered on the road and crammed them back into the sack of the woodman. When done, he asked for his payment. The woodman was baffled.

`I told you, I would give you nothing.' he said.

`Yes. And that's what I want. Nothing.' said the other, `Give me my nothing!'

After some quarrel, the two men decided to let the kadi solve their problem. Nasreddin Hodja was on duty at the time. He listened to both men earnestly. Then he addressed the man who was expecting his payment of nothing.

`My dear fellow, could you please lift the far right corner of that rug on the floor and check what is underneath?' The man did as he was told and looked under the rug.

`What do you see?' asked the Hodja.

`Nothing.' said the man.

`Well, take it and go home.' commanded the Hodja, `That is your payment!'

Caught in a Lie

One day a neighbour asked Nasreddin Hodja if he could borrow Hodja's donkey.

`Hodja Effendi, we need a donkey for a few hours. Could I take yours?'

`I would gladly lend you my donkey, my neighbour,' the Hodja started his excuse, `but he is not here.' Just at that moment the donkey's loud and long bray is heard from the shed.

`Shame on you Hodja Effendi,' said the neighbour, `you are caught in a lie, your donkey is braying in the shed.'

`My dear fellow,' Nasreddin Hodja was unrepentant, `are you going to believe the word of a Hodja or are you going to believe a donkey?'

Quail Feast

One day the Hodja invited his friends over for dinner. He told them that he was going to prepare a meal with roasted quails. Nasreddin Hodja's friends, in their unceasing quest to baffle him, thought of a prank and came to dinner prepared.

When the quails were cooked, the Hodja placed them in his old, big, tin serving platter and put the lid on to prevent them from getting cold. He brought the covered platter to the dinner table and went back to the kitchen to bring other things. While he was in the kitchen, the well-prepared pranksters, hid the platter with the cooked quails and replaced it with another one that contained live quails.

When Nasreddin Hodja was ready to serve the dinner, he opened the lid of the platter and to his shock, all the quails flew out and about. The Hodja watched the birds in astonishment, darting this way and that way, and eventually flying out the open windows.

`Sublime Allah', he spoke looking up, `it is very well that you gave life to these cooked birds, but how are you going to reimburse me for the butter, salt and tomato paste I used?'